Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Family, it's not for the weak...

I'll bet some of you are reading the title and thinking "What's that all about?" Well, let me tell you. I miss my family so very much right now, (anyone still wondering what I'm talking about, needs to go back to my posting at the end of April to catch up)and I think about them every day. Married life has been the greatest experience of my life so far. And my little family has truly come to mean everything to me. I was listening to a popular talk radio host last week. He brought up a segment where he had referred to a study done recently in Britain, where they claim to show statistically, that people with children are more unhappy than those without. He discussed the different sides and views on this topic, and then he took a call from a man who only referred to himself as "Rolex Boy". This caller then went on to express how he is very self centered and selfish. How he likes his life now where he can just pick up at a whim and fly around the world and party. He went on to say how he is too immature to have kids and how he'll never want that life style because it's too depressing. He doesn't want all the baggage that comes along with it. He further went on to say how most people if they were honest like him, would say the same thing, that kids will make you unhappy. I was floored as the radio host continued to feed this fire, and even agree with him on a few points. By the end of the segment the basic result was this, Children are stressful, and needy, and will make you unhappy, and ruin your marriage. If you want to be happy don't have children.
People, this was grossly offensive to me. I see this as yet another attack by conspiring groups, on the family. The family truly is the central, stable force behind a civilization. A family is the source of some of life's greatest joys! Think back to some happy moments in your life, how many of them involved your whole, or a member of your family? I am only a father of one right now, so perhaps my opinion doesn't carry as much weight as some of you that have more children. However, I can tell you, and this is the absolute pure truth; there has been no greater joy in our family than our little boy, Colton. I feel sorry for some of you who perhaps are deciding that children just aren't for you. That would be too tough of a job. I think that western civilization is getting too soft. I think we are getting too weak. We don't want to have children, because that would be hard, and infringe on our lives. That would involve responsibility. That would involve accountability. That would involve being considerate of others.
I remember when Jody first came to me and said she wanted to start having children. I was still a bit immature. I panicked because I liked it being just her and I. We could stay out all night and sleep in the next day with no worries. We could pick up and take off for a vacation at any time without it being a big production. But she persisted, and I relented, and I panicked. But I remember the day I first saw my boy on the Ultra sound machine. That day, a switch was turned on in my head. I went into that office a boy, and I came out of there a man. I was never more excited to be a father, and to take on that responsibility. I can't adequately describe the feelings you feel as you stare at that little person you helped create. Children force you to grow up, and force you to become an adult, and my life has never been better since. I love my wife for having that foresight, to start a family. I'm sure she'd echo a lot of my thoughts. She is a fantastic mother, and Colton loves her to death. Together we've embarked on this journey and though it has it's trying times, Colton has been the best thing to happen to us besides finding each other.
So I encourage any of you considering not having children, think very, very, hard about that choice. Think hard about the things you'll miss out on and weigh them against the things you'd "be giving up". I think you'll find that the pros far out weigh the cons, if you can really call them that. On a more global scale, consider this fact. The birthrate, and therefore population growth in western civilizations is actually in a decline. The countries we look at as radical, fanatic, hostile etc, they continue to have children at a steady rate. If this trend continues, their populations will soon out number us greatly. It's true what they say, there is strength in numbers. So who do you think will take the balance of global power in the future... Something to think about.
Please readers, let me know what you think. I'd like to hear your thoughts.


Suzanne Lee said...

Great post. I completely agree with your side of the debate. I simply feel sorry for those people who think they have it figured out and suppose that they'll find the most happiness in this life without the experiences of having a family. I seriously think it would be the most unfortunate feeling of regret to have one day; being old and no posterity, grandchildren even. What a waste in the end.

Geoff Crane said...

Thanks for the comments Suzanne. I think you're right on the money. One thought that came to mind as I read your comments, is that there are a lot of people out there who think "Its ok, I don't need to have children, there are plenty of other people out there who will." But as that study on the radio stated, that the number of people not having children is growing. Eventually we'll be left with everyone expecting everyone else to have babies. It's really just a rationalization for being selfish, and like you said, that will only lead to regret and sadness.